I’m in a period of my life where I am truly understanding what it means to talk to myself. I have always struggled with other voices talking to me and ruling the state of mind in which I chose to rest in. The enemy has a way of whispering lies into our minds through other people, hard life experiences, and mental battles. These voices seem so strong in comparison to the voice that has been kept quiet inside of me for so long.
The hardest part about mental battles is how young they start. Our mindset is not created by one question in front of us. It is made through life long struggles, culture, and experiences that we know and have grown up in. Imagine it this way. When a ball hits a glass window, it cracks. Each one of us has our own personal window, hit by our own series of balls, and cracked in a million individual ways. We are all trying to live a life looking through uniquely cracked windows.
Until we recognize that our windows are cracked, we will never be able to truly gain perspective on our mindset and those of the people around us. Then, even after we recognize that they ARE cracked, we have to understand WHERE those cracks came from. Wow. That is a hard process when you see how many cracks there really are. The more that I choose to focus on mindset, the more I realize that I need to. I see how much the deep cracks affect my reactions to the current situations that occur around me. But I also see how even the small ones can change the way that I look at those reactions.
Through this journey of becoming a life coach, I have learned what it means to coach myself. I struggle to even admit that I deal with mental battles, let alone work on them. Recently, I have been practicing talking to my mind, understanding that while there are so many lying voices I could listen to, there are just as many truths I could replace them with. I practice asking myself “What are the lies in my mind right now?” “Where are these lies coming from?” “How can I replace these with something truthful to focus on instead?” It has been extremely stretching creating a personal awareness and acceptance of my mindset, so that I can in turn practice focusing on the positives over the negatives or fears.
As I rest in the assurance of God’s love and mercy in my life, I recognize that His love is not just an external love. He loves our minds too. He desires for our thoughts to be abiding in His love, just as he longs for our hearts to be. That is a concept that I still sometimes struggle to wrap my mind around. Because how could God know our thoughts, even when we think we hide them so well? It’s beyond me. Yet, its the truth. When I really choose to focus on that truth, that is when I get sent to my knees in tears. I truly desire for my thoughts to focus on His love for who I am as His daughter, and His desires for me to live an abundant life for Him, even in the hard times that we will go through in life. The verse below is one of my favorites that I have memorized. To be honest, the fact that I have it memorized proves its a biggie in my life (because friends, I do not memorize well!)
“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about such things.” Philippians 4:8
Being a life coach is all about helping other people find new mindsets for their future, helping them gain a vision for where they want to go, and the intentionality to create action plans for getting there. However, I think that through the process of understanding this, I have helped myself even more with where I want to grow in mentally. I will never say that speaking positively in a time where our minds only want to think negatively is easy. However, I would say that it is life changing to continuously try.
Gaining a positive mindset is a choice, not a personality characteristic. It is the same as choosing to love someone when it is so much easier to be angry. We have to constantly choose to find the light in a world that it is easier to see the dark. I know that I do not always choose to try and gain a more positive mindset in every situation. But I also know how thankful I am when I do.